Trying to force your life down a path different from your own will only push love away.

I am the oldest of six siblings. Three married before I did. One of my sisters even married twice before I married the first time.

At family events, I was usually alone. Once, while playing cards, one of my sisters said, “Let’s play Karin’s game! Let’s play Old Maid!” I laughed with the others, but inside I was crying.

My big day finally came when I was 32. My wedding was pure joy. I cried many happy tears. At last I had a husband. I thought I would finally be like everyone else.

Thirteen years later, my husband and I divorced. How could I be alone again? I was devastated. A card game with my eight-year-old daughter, Clare, helped me see things differently. We were using children’s cards with colored illustrations. Clare shuffled the deck and dealt. The Old Maid landed in my hand.

I looked at the card carefully. This old maid was smiling. She looked happy and strong. Her hat was decorated with a jaunty flower.

I thought to myself, “This woman doesn’t have a care in the world. If I am going to be an Old Maid, I’m going to be this Old Maid.

I took the card to Kinko’s to have the image enlarged. The enlargement fit nicely in a frame.

Clare saw the picture and said, “I like that picture. Can I have it in my room?”

“Sure, Sweetheart,” I told her. Clare set the picture on a shelf above her bed.

Then she said, “Now I am going to make one for you. She took out a poster board and drew an old maid. It may be my imagination, but I thought her picture looked more like me than the original. The two of us went to the mall to find a frame for my new picture.

I hung the picture by my bed. No matter where I move, my old maid goes with me. She reminds me that even if I don’t have a man in my life, I can be happy. I can see clients, read, watch movies, grow flowers, sew, write, and do all my favorite things. Someday, my old maid may even meet a nice man and go out on dates. She will live a full and happy life no matter what.

I learned that I have a safety net. I don’t feel pressure to meet a man. This keeps me from feeling desperate. When I do meet people, I can be more relaxed and confident. If a relationship comes my way, I can take risks and be myself. No matter what, I will be ok.

Everyone is different.

1) There are people who have one major relationships from childhood to death

2) Others have many partners

3) Some never have a love partner

Accept and embrace your unique path. Make your own rules. Honor your true essence. Don’t try to force your life or relationships into some preconceived plan. Celebrate the plan that is you and love will be more likely to find you.

Everything about you is part of the package, the unique package that is you.

Suggestion: Is there a part of your love life that you reject? Do you feel shame or worry about your path? If you can release that shame and embrace your life, you will clear your path for love.

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