Why does God Create Very Attractive Women (VAWs)?
We isolate the most beautiful and look at them when we could instead use their appearance to access the divine in each of us. We see VAWs as enviable and as instruments that cause us to feel we aren't good enough. In reality I believe VAWS are here to help us become more beautiful ourselves. How can this be? How can their beauty have any effect on us other than to cause us to compare ourselves with them and feel self doubt? Separation between us and the super gorgeous has been reinforced by a culture that tells us we lack something they have and must buy a product to be like them. But what if what we lack is not a product or even physical attributes? What if their message for us is something else entirely?
For a moment, consider beauty from a spiritual perspective. Have you ever noticed that pictures of angels are usually beautiful? For some reason, we imagine our angels as young, lovely, slim, and glowing. Why might we see our spiritual beings this way?
Our attraction to human beauty and our fantasies about angelic loveliness tell us about our desires. When we see a beautiful body we are reminded of youth, freedom from pain, health, vigor, kindness, love, joy, sexual fulfillment, fertility, and happiness. Youth in beauty symbolizes a lifetime of possibilities and innocence. The real reason we are attracted to angels and VAWs is not because we want them or want to be them. Rather, we are interested in them because of what we want to feel in ourselves. We want to feel young, healthy, balanced, loving, desirable, and joyful. We want to feel innocent and as if we can create a lifetime of possibilities.
When you see a beautiful woman imagine the beauty you see in her face being activated in your own body. Imagine the youthfulness inside of you that always springs eternal, the innocence you hold inside when you let go of your bitterness, the health that comes from balance and self love and the vigor you create when you do the things you were born to do. As you gaze into her face, connect with the kindness inside you that springs from compassion for your own suffering, the love in your heart that is meant for you and others, and the happiness you feel when you are a part of life’s best flow.
We are attracted to VAWS because they symbolize these qualities in us, but a VAW is not a genie who can grant us our wishes. If we are a man and marry a VAW, we still have to earn these inner attributes for ourselves. A VAW can’t give them to us. If we are a woman and use plastic surgery to carve our bodies into VAW shapes, we will not be any closer to realizing inner joy either. A VAW is a marker reminding us of our goal. She is like the sign that says, “This way to the Grand Canyon.” We can look at that sign all day long and never see the Grand Canyon. The sign is not the experience we seek. But we can use the sign to point us to the treasures within us and help us to find our true joy.
Being born beautiful is a package deal. There are many advantages to being pretty but it’s important to see that beauty presents some serious challenges too. Some of the challenges VAWS face are painful and even dangerous. It is a beauty’s sacred spiritual task to live with everything her beauty draws to her, the good, the bad, the fun, and the frightening. She must work to use her gift of beauty properly. This means finding a way to connect with her inner and not just her outer beauty. To reach this goal, she must first become aware of her conditioning and make changes that allow her to use her beauty in loving instead of addictive ways. She needs a safe place to talk about her experience and figure things out. Then she will be able to feel as good as she looks and inspire others to find their inner beauty too.
Not all VAWs are the same even though they may share common experiences. Different women use their beauty in different ways. Some VAWs develop self-defeating behaviors as a result of their appearance while others do not. There is a constellation of disorders that can result from the way VAWs interact with the world. I call these behaviors The VAW Syndrome. You can read about The VAW Syndrome on my website. However, VAWs are individuals. They use their beauty and live in unique and personalized ways. Instead of thinking all VAWs are the same, we can break through the stereotypes to find out the true lessons they have for us. Bottom line, all VAWs are NOT empty-headed bimbos!
Deep down, VAWs are no different from the rest of us. Study of VAW experience helps us learn the truth about attraction, jealousy, and genuine beauty. For example, I’m sure you know beautiful women who behave in very unappealing ways. This is a clue that shows us the difference between outer and inner beauty. We can be grateful to VAWs for the lessons they teach us.
As we observe VAWs we can discard the myths about our what our lives would be like if we looked like a model. Research shows that the physically attractive are not any happier than the rest of us. If we spend too much time and energy on our outer appearance we are reaching for a goal that will never make us happy. We need to reach for inner beauty instead. We can use what we learn from VAWs to craft the dreams that will lead to true happiness.
Inner beauty is not always pretty. There are times we must dive in and be willing to get our hands dirty. Sometimes we must live the grit and ugliness of life with dignity and determination while we reach for the kindest work and word, the most joyful noise, and our most graceful reaction. True beauty is created when we have the courage to live all of life, even when it’s ugly, and emerge unique, one-of-a-kind, divine, precious, and essentially honest. True beauty is the same whether we are a VAW or not, and whether we are male or female. We become truly beautiful when we stretch to serve God.
There is one way in which we are all the same. Every one of us can be beautiful regardless of our appearance. When a pretty woman focuses only on how she looks, she becomes a caricature and a fetish. She is not real. The same is true for the rest of us. True beauty comes from inside. People have told us this forever, but few know what this advice really means. Inner beauty means feeling good because you are living with balance, harmony and self respect. Inner beauty means loving yourself, including your body, and loving others. We create inner beauty when we follow God’s Plan and know we are living the life we are meant to live. VAWs are here to help us find that path.